Sunday, February 15, 2004

Reading shaz's blog about her, apoligizing to her dear dad reminds me of one story of my own..unfortunately it was not a misunderstanding situation…it was clearly my fault…it happened one fine morning around 7 am…when my dad asked me to print for him his letter that he typed yesterday…I was in a really good sleep and got mad when someone just wake me up like that…so i on the pc..keyed in the password n asked my dad to print himself…I crawled myself back under the thick blanket of mine n try to continue my dream…fyi my dad is not into the technology at all n knows only how to type n save the document…other things we have to help him..n then he started asking me why the paper didn’t come out…whats wrong with our it on? I got fed up n then I started to print for him but without my 100% will…n then I grumbled all the way…lastly when i finished, I gave it to my dad..n i said “ ish..nak sambung tido balik lah..kaco jerk pepagi..nape x suruh print semalam “ (u know how i sounded like) , my dad then replied “ apelah ko ni, abah nak suruh ko tolong sikit pon tak boleh “ with quite a sad intonation…..suddenly I felt my heart dropped..i was so touched…i felt so guilty, but I just pretend it was nothing n try to sleep…..just after that I couldn’t sleep at all...usually I didn’t take it seriously but I dont know why..i kept asking myself..what have I been doing for my dad lately?..not really..i was so bz with my own work until sometimes I hardly spoke to my dad…n i know he has a lot of problem rite now but he doesn’t want us all to feel the burden… n why must I behaved like such a rude person…yeah I felt tears in my eyes…I started to remember how close we were when I was small..he used to carry me on his shoulder, he stood up for me everytime..always there to fetch me from school when I was in form 2 whereas he’s suffering at that time, n i got mad coz no one to fetch me home the next day without knowing my dad was admitted to the hospital to undergo a liver operation immediately…he’s struggling with his life..oh how guilty I am… now it seems that our bond is not tight anymore…n im having a prob to say sorry..even if I were the one who made a mistake..coz we know sorry is the hardest word…not forgetting my ego is one of the factor..but now I’m learning to say sorry to people if I really at fault…what must u lose..what happened next? both my parents already went to i sent him a sms…saying that “ I was so sorry 4 hurting u this morning…forgive me abah..” I cried when I typed the msg and I even cried when I was writing this entry…yeah I can be emotional at times ..when it involves my loved ones especially my family…my dad didn’t reply coz he only knew how to see the inbox msgs but not to reply them eventhough we have thought him so many times..but guess what..he finally got home with a smile n started a conversation with me first, I was so relieved..n from there i knew he already got the msg…* that was the 1st time ive talked to u like that…it was not the real me..i didn’t do it on purpose…sorry abah *

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